Monday, May 18, 2009

Life is just too damn short.

I have been floundering lately,  analyzing the big picture, distorting the small... you name it and it has crossed my mind.  Do MLM's really work?  Check.  Why are Oreo's so good ever though they have no nutritional value?  Check.  Who am I and what am I doing here?  Check.  Did I really think I could become a millionaire stuffing envelopes at home?  Check.   Why does the first spring day always make me want to blow off work, head to the park with a buddy and a 6-pack and hang out?  Check.Eventually, I lead myself to this question;  "is it possible to make a decent living using nothing more than my thoughts and a platform to publish them on? "   So the floundering begins.  I am obsessed (that may be a strong word but I use it in the same sense that I am obsessed with say pizza) with those that manage to make a good - great living using their innate talents.  I want to be that guy I see in the BMW in the middle of any given day in jeans... never in a hurry and enjoying the hell out of life.  How do you do it?

Maybe they all have a mega trust fund or actually live in the car like it is their only possession in the world.  Maybe I spend too much time dreaming and not enough time doing hard work to further my career.   Maybe there is some secret I don't know about or some club I have to join..... how ever it works, I want in!

It has come to my attention of late that in general that office life and the monotony of every day routine is killing my spirit.  Does anyone really have a passion for report writing day in and day out for years  and years... wow, hurts when you read it back!    Life has brought me an unusual amount of luck.  I managed to find a great wife and have 3 awesome kids.  I have been buried in debt, clawed my way out long enough to upgrade my house and neighborhood and have managed to find a job that pays terrible but affords most of the life style I wish to live.  Does that make me lucky?  You bet it does!

I have straddled the life of "you should" with the life of "I could".  I have managed to slowly progress while suppressing little pieces of myself along the way.  Keep the face clean, trim the hair, wear the tie... blah, blah, blah.  The thing is I think, no scratch that, I know there is more to life than burning 40 hours in an office.  How do you get beyond the walls to make things happen with out being inside the walls.... That is what I really want to know.  That is what I am working to find out and that is why I am floundering.  Life is indeed too damn short to not be enjoying all it has to offer.

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